Declutter friendship?! Hmmm…sounds harsh? We talk about declutter stuff a lot, like our desk, our wardrobe, and our mind. However, have you thought that we might have to declutter friendship from time to time. It all started from a conversation I had with a couple of friends few weeks back and an article I read a while ago about mental health.
If hanging on to useless stuff is not healthy, how different is hanging on to toxic friendship. Quite often I hear friends talk about some of their friends who like to argue constantly, who like to win at the end no matter at what cost, who is super negative about everything and never change, who is selfish and only contact you when they need your help or borrow money. If that’s case, maybe it’s time to have a close look at the friendship and downsize friends.
Set boundary. Friends should support each other. I totally agree. However, it doesn’t mean you have to answer the call in the middle of the night. You don’t have to give any professional advice. You don’t have to take your wallet out every single time. Just be a good listener.
Move on. It happens in life that people grow apart. You might have outgrown your friends. You might have changed your interests when the circumstance changes. Vice versa. People move in and out of our life. Same for friends. We don’t need hold on. Life has up and down. Same for friendships. Don’t feel obliged to be friends forever.
Engage. If you have a friend/friends who you really appreciate, please spend more quality time with them. Keep in touch. Try to organise meetings or share special experiences with them. Even just say ‘hi’ through text or a simple card when you are busy. Actually, when you declutter friendship, you will have more time to spend with the real friends.
Be honest. To me, honesty is the key. It’s not only to myself, but also to friends. It’s the solid foundation of any relationship, I think. Life will be so much simpler and happier if we can be honest to each other.